Unconditional

After all of it. After every word, after every broken promise, after every bitter tear...

I'd still give up the world I know for one in which I could be loved, and in love one more time.
The empty side of my bed is so cold. It used to be filled, and also very warm. It used to be inviting, and I used to look forward to waking up to kisses on my neck and shoulders. The smile in the eyes that loved me, it would brighten my day. The hands that held mine, that played with my hair, that tugged at my belt loops playfully... The arms that I once rested in, felt protected within, they were warm on the coldest of days. The embrace, the kisses, the passion...

The feeling. The closeness. Where did it all go?

If only there were such a thing to look forward to tomorrow. Maybe, someday, at some point... But even hoping for that now is probably so far fetched. Who could know at this point in their lives what they truly desire? Though I've pretty much had mine planned out since I was in kindergarten... The long months, followed by the one fantastic day, followed then by the future filled with growth, learning, and wonderful memories...

I'm not looking forward to waiting, but I guess at this point... I have no choice but to accept and move on, or to sit here and die.
Death seems so inviting at times. A friend of mine and I were speaking of religion, and were talking of whether or not suicide was like a sort of "reset" feature on life... As in, if you were to displace yourself from the life you know now, is that what you're essentially SUPPOSED to do to reach the final divine? Or is it like, you kill yourself, and you get to go on one more time, to change the things that you did before, to right the wrongs and fix what's been broken.

Part of me wonders. Hmm...

How likely am I to consider pressing the blinking red light of death on my system?
We don't know why we're here. That's fine. I could care less, because up until recently life's been pretty groovy. Live, learn, strive, survive.
But what if the true meaning is to know when to stop? To realize your limit, and that it's okay to just go to sleep? To, in essence, "reset" your life?

That's a good question. So many questions.