I'm watching the movie, and I wonder what you'd think of it. I've spoken to others today about what's been going on. I try not to think on it too frequently, but I think I'm doing ok. Not being completely sad all the time does feel good. I can finally go out into the sun, and even though there's snow on the ground, I know that I can live a little while without it's warmth. I guess that being without something that gives you pleasure, or that makes you feel good, or that makes you feel safe... It can build character to be without the things that you need. It makes you realize why you needed them in the first place.
But having those things makes living that much easier.
Strip me down, beat me senseless; call me worthless you're priceless to me
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Let it /die
This is your mission
Should you choose to accept it
Well, I hope that you do
This is your story
Should you choose to remember
Well, I hope that it's true
I've finally a reason
To let it die, let it die
You've given me a reason
To let it die
Let it die
Like all the words irrelevant and clean
Like all the girls before me, have you seen
Somebody walking back from Hell on their own
Well, I hope that you do
Why are we talking
As if you didn't know
Well, they know about you
I've finally a reason
To let it die, let it die
You've given me a reason
To let it die
Let it die
Like all the words irrelevant and strange
Like some ancient Prokofieff arrangement
This is your mission
Should you choose to accept it
Well, I hope that you do
This is your army
And they're all right behind you
Yes, they're all right with you
Let it die
Let it die
Let it die
Should you choose to accept it
Well, I hope that you do
This is your story
Should you choose to remember
Well, I hope that it's true
I've finally a reason
To let it die, let it die
You've given me a reason
To let it die
Let it die
Like all the words irrelevant and clean
Like all the girls before me, have you seen
Somebody walking back from Hell on their own
Well, I hope that you do
Why are we talking
As if you didn't know
Well, they know about you
I've finally a reason
To let it die, let it die
You've given me a reason
To let it die
Let it die
Like all the words irrelevant and strange
Like some ancient Prokofieff arrangement
This is your mission
Should you choose to accept it
Well, I hope that you do
This is your army
And they're all right behind you
Yes, they're all right with you
Let it die
Let it die
Let it die
Distaste
Give me a break with this heartache
I doubt it will make it through till tomorrow, it's bogged down with sorrow
and guilt, and it's built, on these stilts which wobble
5 feet and 3 inches high
You ask me why I'm this way, and all I can say
is I've gone through my fair share of shit
And you want all I've got so I'll give it a shot
I just hope you don't regret it
I'm unimpressed, think it's best if we give it a rest
I'm so tired, I can't stand, for fear I will land on my ass
Let time pass, this can't last
'cuz I am just barely getting by
You ask me why I'm this way, and all I can say
is I've gone through my fair share of shit
And you want all I've got so I'll give it a shot
I just hope you don't regret it
You ask me why I'm this way and all I can say
is I've got nothing to hide behind
no excuses to confuse this, 'cuz everyone loses
But it's better than living a lie
I'm so tired of feeling used up... I'm feeling terribly, and looking for the only thing that's been making me feel terrible is the one thing that's been trying to make me feel better. For some reason "" it seems to me that if someone says "don't do that", it'd be nice... NO, it'd be HUMAN DECENCY to just... Not do it... So, it would be the logical thing to think "with every action, there comes an equal and opposite reaction." What else was to be expected? That's not right. Please stop. Stop. No I mean it, stop. STOP. GOD DAMMIT STOP. KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF...
See? It's cumulative... You can't just expect the same thing, with no change, to make anything better, can you? I mean, honestly. If the action is to attempt to help, and the action becomes abrasive, and you've been asked on NUMEROUS occasions to STOP. Don't DO that. PLEASE don't do that. GET AWAY from that. I can't believe that after the incessant din of the repetition nothing would even scratch the surface for you.
I'm just flabbergasted. You expect something less severe than a brick when a pillow just didn't cut it? Honestly.
I doubt it will make it through till tomorrow, it's bogged down with sorrow
and guilt, and it's built, on these stilts which wobble
5 feet and 3 inches high
You ask me why I'm this way, and all I can say
is I've gone through my fair share of shit
And you want all I've got so I'll give it a shot
I just hope you don't regret it
I'm unimpressed, think it's best if we give it a rest
I'm so tired, I can't stand, for fear I will land on my ass
Let time pass, this can't last
'cuz I am just barely getting by
You ask me why I'm this way, and all I can say
is I've gone through my fair share of shit
And you want all I've got so I'll give it a shot
I just hope you don't regret it
You ask me why I'm this way and all I can say
is I've got nothing to hide behind
no excuses to confuse this, 'cuz everyone loses
But it's better than living a lie
I'm so tired of feeling used up... I'm feeling terribly, and looking for the only thing that's been making me feel terrible is the one thing that's been trying to make me feel better. For some reason "" it seems to me that if someone says "don't do that", it'd be nice... NO, it'd be HUMAN DECENCY to just... Not do it... So, it would be the logical thing to think "with every action, there comes an equal and opposite reaction." What else was to be expected? That's not right. Please stop. Stop. No I mean it, stop. STOP. GOD DAMMIT STOP. KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF...
See? It's cumulative... You can't just expect the same thing, with no change, to make anything better, can you? I mean, honestly. If the action is to attempt to help, and the action becomes abrasive, and you've been asked on NUMEROUS occasions to STOP. Don't DO that. PLEASE don't do that. GET AWAY from that. I can't believe that after the incessant din of the repetition nothing would even scratch the surface for you.
I'm just flabbergasted. You expect something less severe than a brick when a pillow just didn't cut it? Honestly.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Shalott
She’s locked up with a spinning wheel
She can’t recall what it’s like to feel
She says, “this rooms gonna be my grave,
And there’s no one who can save me”
She sits down to her coloured thread
She knows, lovers waking up in their beds
She says, “how long can I live this way
Is there no one I can pay to let me go”
‘cause I’m half sick of shadows
I want to see the sky
Everyone else can watch as the sun goes down
So why cant I
And its raining
And the star are falling from the sky
And the wind, I know its cold
I’ve been waiting
For the day I will surely die
And its here
And its here for I’ve been told
That I’ll die before I’m old
And the wind I know its cold
She looks up to the mirrored glass
She sees a handsome horse and a rider pass
She says that mans gonna be my death
‘Cause he’s all I ever wanted in my life
And I know he doesn’t know my name
And that all the girls are all the same to him
But I’ve still got to get out of this place
‘cause I don’t think I can face another night
Where I’m half sick of shadows
And I cant see the sky
Everyone else can watch as the tide comes in
So why cant I
And its raining
And the star are falling from the sky
And the wind, I know its cold
I’ve been waiting
For the day I will surely die
And its here
And its here for I’ve been told
That I’ll die before I’m old
And the wind I know its cold
But there’s willow trees
And little breezes, waves and walls and flowers
And there’s moonlight every single night
As I’m locked in these towered
So I’ll meet my death
But with my last breath
I’ll sing to him I love
And he’ll see my face in another place
And with that the glass above
Cracked into a million bits
And she cried out “so the story fits
But then I could’ve guess it all along
‘cause now some drama queen is ganna write song for me
She went down to her little boat
And she broke the chains and began to float away
And as the blood froze in her veins
She said “ well then that explains a thing or two”
Cause I know I’m the cursed one
I know I’m meant to die
Everyone else can watch as their dreams untie
So why cant I?
And its raining
And the star are falling from the sky
And the wind, I know its cold
I’ve been waiting
For the day I will surely die
And its here
And its here
And its here
And its here
And its here
And its finally here
And its raining
And the star are falling from the sky
And the wind, I know its cold
I’ve been waiting
For the day I will surely die
And its here
And its here for I’ve been told
That I’ll die before I’m old
And the wind I know its cold
I want an end to this terrible round and about. I want a solution to the riddle I've been forcing myself to ponder over. To love is madness, I'd say. To feel for one person, regardless of what's happened and to forgive unconditionally is to be in a word insane. I believe that there's a problem in my head... Something's going on inside there that's destroying my reasoning skills. I think to myself, "oh love, why are you crying?" only to reply "I don't know how to get what I need, and what I need is the only thing that I want..." Somehow I think that even the short dialog can explain the lack of sanity.. I was once told that if one speaks to oneself it is viewed as a sign of genius, and also a sign of madness. Whichever shall I choose? I want to be okay, but I feel myself slipping into a void again. My creativity hasn't been worse for ware... I've painted and drawn and written, creating and destroying, making and then tearing or burning down whatever is the result of the thoughts... I wish I had a more positive outlet. I need what I had back... I miss the warm embrace, the tender kisses, the thoughtful conversation... Why, if it was so good, can it not be something that is worth trying for? I think that it's something that's worth giving a shot... Seems to me that it's worth more than what's going on at the moment. I find it's got more substance and moxie than what's been observed to date... Ha, and I think what's been is better than what is. WAY better.
She can’t recall what it’s like to feel
She says, “this rooms gonna be my grave,
And there’s no one who can save me”
She sits down to her coloured thread
She knows, lovers waking up in their beds
She says, “how long can I live this way
Is there no one I can pay to let me go”
‘cause I’m half sick of shadows
I want to see the sky
Everyone else can watch as the sun goes down
So why cant I
And its raining
And the star are falling from the sky
And the wind, I know its cold
I’ve been waiting
For the day I will surely die
And its here
And its here for I’ve been told
That I’ll die before I’m old
And the wind I know its cold
She looks up to the mirrored glass
She sees a handsome horse and a rider pass
She says that mans gonna be my death
‘Cause he’s all I ever wanted in my life
And I know he doesn’t know my name
And that all the girls are all the same to him
But I’ve still got to get out of this place
‘cause I don’t think I can face another night
Where I’m half sick of shadows
And I cant see the sky
Everyone else can watch as the tide comes in
So why cant I
And its raining
And the star are falling from the sky
And the wind, I know its cold
I’ve been waiting
For the day I will surely die
And its here
And its here for I’ve been told
That I’ll die before I’m old
And the wind I know its cold
But there’s willow trees
And little breezes, waves and walls and flowers
And there’s moonlight every single night
As I’m locked in these towered
So I’ll meet my death
But with my last breath
I’ll sing to him I love
And he’ll see my face in another place
And with that the glass above
Cracked into a million bits
And she cried out “so the story fits
But then I could’ve guess it all along
‘cause now some drama queen is ganna write song for me
She went down to her little boat
And she broke the chains and began to float away
And as the blood froze in her veins
She said “ well then that explains a thing or two”
Cause I know I’m the cursed one
I know I’m meant to die
Everyone else can watch as their dreams untie
So why cant I?
And its raining
And the star are falling from the sky
And the wind, I know its cold
I’ve been waiting
For the day I will surely die
And its here
And its here
And its here
And its here
And its here
And its finally here
And its raining
And the star are falling from the sky
And the wind, I know its cold
I’ve been waiting
For the day I will surely die
And its here
And its here for I’ve been told
That I’ll die before I’m old
And the wind I know its cold
I want an end to this terrible round and about. I want a solution to the riddle I've been forcing myself to ponder over. To love is madness, I'd say. To feel for one person, regardless of what's happened and to forgive unconditionally is to be in a word insane. I believe that there's a problem in my head... Something's going on inside there that's destroying my reasoning skills. I think to myself, "oh love, why are you crying?" only to reply "I don't know how to get what I need, and what I need is the only thing that I want..." Somehow I think that even the short dialog can explain the lack of sanity.. I was once told that if one speaks to oneself it is viewed as a sign of genius, and also a sign of madness. Whichever shall I choose? I want to be okay, but I feel myself slipping into a void again. My creativity hasn't been worse for ware... I've painted and drawn and written, creating and destroying, making and then tearing or burning down whatever is the result of the thoughts... I wish I had a more positive outlet. I need what I had back... I miss the warm embrace, the tender kisses, the thoughtful conversation... Why, if it was so good, can it not be something that is worth trying for? I think that it's something that's worth giving a shot... Seems to me that it's worth more than what's going on at the moment. I find it's got more substance and moxie than what's been observed to date... Ha, and I think what's been is better than what is. WAY better.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)