I refuse to fight over this. I refuse to be on one side of a tug of war, while the middle is disappearing towards the other side. I'm not going to tug any harder. Why should I? I don't believe that I should have to fight for this. Fighting achieves nothing... And it's plainly so in this situation as in any other. Why should I have to be the one to fight? I don't want to. I refuse to. I won't. I just won't.
I wasen't born with a spear in my hand made to fend off all my nemesises. I also don't feel as though i should be forced to argue over bullshit like this. it makes me pull away. I shouldn't have to feel as though everything that I do is done whilst stepping on eggshells. Don't be yourself. If you are yourself, then you're ridiculed. If you are yourself, then you can only expect one or two to accept. All others, they either accept at first but then decide that it's not worth the embarrassment, or they're there and decide it's not worth the effort to keep up the charade to make sure that you stay sane, so that they don't step on your toes and push you over the edge. I wanna know... What the fuck is the point in hiding behind a false face of happiness and sanity when it only hurts the one wearing the mask? I don't fucking get it... I'm done trying to impress. I'm only myself.. I'm not perfect for anyone but me. Fuck it all.
