knots

Capricorn: You will have fun on a whole new level today. You never knew things would turn out like this!

Im sitting on my bed. This is my usual position while im on my computer. Staring at my nearly completely white screen. Im typing the blog. Im thinking about what the fucks been going on for this all to come crashing down so pleasantly and neatly. How this could have possibly been so terribly perfect.

I want to scream and cry and laugh and destroy something and hug someone all at the same time. I need reassurance. I need something to hold onto. I need. I'm in need. Im not ahsamed to ask for help. Ive been screaming about it for so long. I need it. I want it. I crave, yearn, desire... I need help. I got my help..

Ive never asked for a better friend, and never expected to find someone that I would prefer to be stranded for the rest of my life on a desert island with. I have never asked for a better friend, and never ever will. I owe you my life, and everything. Just, everything. My hope, my reinstatement of self-worth, self esteem... More than anything my re-enstatement in the hope that I lost for myself, and the furthering of my self improvement. Im a better person because i know you. I cant describe in words how much you mean to me. Really.

Im so sick feeling right now. Cotton mouth, knot in my throat... Everything is kinda spinning.