I feel like im being pulled in seven different directions. My life is coming to a turning point. Regardless of whether or not its a positive or a negative, the decisions are starting to weight down on me. Im in need of some guidance. I need some sort of help. Something tells me that the decisions that i might make will sway the way my life starts to develope from here. Im scared that i might be making the wrong decisions. If they are wrong, then i will chalk them up to a learning experiance and move on, though I will probably still feel guilty for making them. I wish that i didnt have to travel alone on this journey. I feel very, indefineably alone. I know that most people probably feel this way at my age, being that they have no real direction or drive in life to do anything... But I have drive, I just need help being pointed in the right direction.
Ive been listening to a lot of sad music lately. Most of the time, i listen to it and then i cry, and then i find some sort of meaning in my life that has to do with the song. I listen to them over and over and over again, memorizing the lyrics and trying to place the song, regardless of its emotional value, into my memories and try and link them with an event or something thats happened or that i wanted or wished to happen.
Im excited for the future, but that excitement is also accompanied by lots of questions. Im fearful of change that is too great, especially when i have to go through it by myself. Im scared of making a mistake and then being stuck wherever I might be with no way to get back to my safe haven. Im just at a crossroads right now. I need some support.
No comments:
Post a Comment