Cunt

Eye catching. Attention grabbing. Something that makes us go "oh my..." Words do a whole lot of that. They make us think. They say, they mean, they have feeling. All words are, we make them to be. Everything has it's own meaning. The only reason that is, is because at some point we thought to put a feeling and an image with each one. Even this one.

Sometimes people string their words together very carefully. They think about what they say, calculating what it should convey, and they say it. It is what they mean, and they mean what they say.

Others smash words together and hope that it's tangible and legible. It doesn't have to be pretty, or tactful. As long as they say exactly what's on their mind, while the thought is processing. They don't care how many feelings they hurt, or how many boundaries they cross. As long as it's there, it doesn't matter what happens afterward.

I've got a feeling that there just isn't enough to think about and maybe that's why my mind keeps lingering on things they shouldn't be lingering on anymore. As though because my mind is idle, it lingers on hurtful subjects. I don't understand why that really is, but i can say that I do try and ignore it as much as possible without going completely emotionally insane...

Then again, does that even really matter? It's not like I'll be worrying about being a bother anymore. Or even a burden. It's not as though I've got to wait in anticipation anymore. I know now what's up, and that I can calmly back away, turn around, and walk calmly yet painfully in the other direction. As painful as the bullet in my knees makes the walk, that's how it's meant to be I guess.
I find it funny how people keep telling me to wait.

I've never been good with patience.