Chilly

It's so damn cold outside!!! I've finally had to give in and turn on my heat... There goes my food money for a while until I can figure out a way to get this crap packed up and shipped to my mother's faster so I can finally get room mates... Then it'll be a little easier.


Is it normal to miss someone terribly, even though you know they don't give a shit if you're alive or dead?


I don't know what's wrong with me lately.

I've been going through this "I'm totally okay. I'll be fine." phase, and then a "what am I doing with my life? I'm drowning, help!!" phase... Back and forth, up and down, side to side. I'm getting sick of this inconsistency. I wish I had the stability I once had back. I'm getting back to being stable.

On Wednesday last week, I went to see Emilie Autumn in concert...

BEST. LIVE PERFORMANCE. EVER.

No lie.

I'm pretty sure I've never been to a better show. It was spectacular. The only thing I regret is getting sick literally 5-10 minutes before she came on stage. I had to fumble through the crowd to get water and sit down somewhere before I passed out in the middle of all these people... I'd have been trampled! it would have been terrible.. But the show was absolutely spectacular! I'm hoping that I get to go see her this coming December 2nd, but... I really don't know if i'll have the money together at this point to even consider it a possibility... But I'll be damned if I won't try. I'm going to see if I can sell some of my stuff... Not much of it is worth anything, but if I get super desperate I might be able to sell my guitar... I really don't want to do that but when you're in need, you're in need... My bonus from work won't get there even half in time for me to get the tickets either.

Living alone sucks especially when there's so much you WANT to do, and so much you NEED to do... Maybe my mom will get me the ticket for Christmas... I doubt it, but there's always that offhanded chance. I'm more than excited to go see it. A friend of mine went with me, and she got to stay up front. We waited for literally 7 hours in the freezing cold, wearing nothing but hoodies and bloomers... Hahaha, we looked quite the site. But it was soooo worth it. I got some pictures on my cell phone of the set before I got sick, and it was so awesome.... I'm still bubbling over it. She's so amazing.. Talented, beautiful, bold, confident... She's just amazing.

We met a lot of really cool people there too. It was like a love fest centered around Emilie! And what was really cool... A new friend bought me a t-shirt..
I didn't have any money for merchandise because I had spent it on an oil change for my car (so we wouldn't be stranded in Baltimore) and also on lots of wasted parking... The first garage that we found had us 5 dollars out because it closed at NINE, and then we stuck maybe 6 dollars worth of quarters in this machine and didn't realize you had to press a button for a ticket... It was just an adventure. -sigh- but anyway. It'll all be okay now. Everything was fantastic. :D

I've got to get to that show with VIP tickets. It's my goal.